Don’t worry, it’s not as gross as it sounds….

Do yourself a favor and watch the entire video, John Stewart takes the piss out of a lot of people involved in the election as only he can.

Also, if you found yourself moved by Palin’s “stirring” speech last night (you know, the one in which she didn’t mention Afghanistan, healthcare, college tuition, unemployment, etc), you might like to know that her speech was riddled with half-truths, among them:

FORMER ARKANSAS GOV. MIKE HUCKABEE: Palin “got more votes running for mayor of Wasilla, Alaska than Joe Biden got running for president of the United States.”

THE FACTS: A whopper. Palin got 616 votes in the 1996 mayor’s election, and got 909 in her 1999 re-election race, for a total of 1,525. Biden dropped out of the race after the Iowa caucuses, but he still got 76,165 votes in 23 states and the District of Columbia where he was on the ballot during the 2008 presidential primaries.

Honestly, I only WISH I could say that I was shocked to hear that much of the speech was hot air.

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Yes, that’s a very poor attempt at what Jerry Seinfeld would sound like in a standup routine about computers.

Why you ask? Well, it appears that Microsoft is sick of being painted as a bunch of sucky old people making sucky computers and they’re ready to fight back against the Apple advertising juggernaut. With Jerry Seinfield.

The new ad campaign is pretty hush hush at this point, but the funnyman will be one of the key pitch people, making $10M for his part in the campaign.

Rumor has it that the slogan will be “Windows, Not Walls”, or some variation of it. Let me guess, they’re going to paint Mac users as holier than thou? (Well what? Some are. I’m sorry, it’s just a fact.)

Windows wants to try and do damage control on the negative opion of Vista, their latest OS. Windows is Microsoft’s biggest monekymaker, making up 28% of their 60.4B revenue last year.

Here’s a thought, Windows. Maybe you should have thought about what the damage control would end up costing you before you put out that turd of an operating system.

I’m just sayin’…and I’m not even a Mac snob.

Also, on a somewhat related note, during this post, I typed “Jeffy” Seinfeld on more than one occasion and I sort of like the way Jeffy Seinfeld sounds. It makes me giggle. That is all.

Some of the PC vs. Mac commercials for the one person on earth who might not be familiar with them:

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Come on Apple. You’re better than this, aren’t you? Maybe you’re too caught up in all of this recent glory. Maybe you have too much money and just don’t care anymore. I really don’t know.

Photo: Keegan Jones

If you’re leading me to believe that you’re better than everyone else in the computing realm, why are you still using Windows on your checkout scanner devices in your Apple stores? You have time to create a “killswitch” on the iPhone. Can’t create a checkout scanner device with Mac OS? How about a mobile OS? I’m sure there’s a flavor of Linux you could have slapped on those babies to avoid something like this.

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Unabomber Ted Kaczynski has his prison-issued panties in a wad over the fact that his former Montana cabin is on display . In a three-page, handwritten letter to the 9th Circuit Court of Appeals, Kaczynski says that the FBI’s decision to allow it to be publicly displayed goes against the wishes of his victims, who want to limit further publicity about his bombing spree.

Kaczynski writes:

I recently received a page from the Washington Post, June 19, 2008, page A9. This comprises a full-page, full-color advertisement that features my cabin, which is being exhibited publicly at something called a “Newseum” . . . Since the advertisement states that the cabin is “FROM FBI VAULT,” it is clear that the government is responsible for the public exhibition of the cabin. This has obvious relevance to the victims’ objection to publicity connected with the Unabom case.

Yes, I’m absolutely 100% unequivocally convinced that the unabomber is so concerned about the victims.

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A group of students at MIT have created a PC based on the Nintendo Entertainment System (NES). I’m sure many of you will recall just how awe-struck we were when we first played the NES. Video games and the lives of millions were changed forever. Now, MIT students hope to replicate that feat.

In an effort to compete with the One Laptop Per Child (OLPC) program, which is attempting to build and sell a laptop for $100 to every child, the students have created a modified NES to perform more like a computer. And yes, it is Internet ready.

One of the MIT students, Derek Lomas, was inspired on how to design the device when he came across a TV computer selling for $12 USD in India. The computer he saw was nothing more than a modification of the original Nintendo Entertainment System, with more functionality added. The device was so similar it even accepted NES cartridges (don’t forget to blow the dust out first). Read More…

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Want to get one on one time with John McCain? Well, all you have to do is spam pro-McCain messages on blogs. You could win anything from an autographed book to a ride on his campaign bus! Yeah, I only wish I was joking.

On their website, camp McCain invites you to “Spread the Word”.

Help spread the word about John McCain on news and blog sites. Your efforts to help get the message out about John McCain’s policies and plan for the future is one of the most valuable things you can do for this campaign. You know why John McCain should be the next President of the United States and we need you to tell others why.

Select from the numerous web, blog and news sites listed here, go there, and make your opinions supporting John McCain known. Once you’ve commented on a post, video or news story, report the details of your comment by clicking the button below. After your comments are verified, you will be awarded points through the McCain Online Action Center.

Spread John McCain’s official talking points around the Web — and you could win valuable prizes!

You got it, folks. John McCain’s campaign is, in effect, paying people to “stump” via the blogosphere.

The site offers sample comments like this one:

The Issue: Partisanship
There are serious issues at stake in this election, and serious differences between the candidates. And we will argue about them, as we should. But it should remain an argument among friends; each of us struggling to hear our conscience, and heed its demands; each of us, despite our differences, united in our great cause, and respectful of the goodness in each other.

Argument among friends? Yes, because I always compare my “friends” in ads that are seen the world over to Britney Spears, Paris Hilton, and the fucking Antichrist.

I say that if people feel sufficiently motivated by your message as a politician, when they feel compelled to leave a comment in support of you, they will. Programs like these falsely motivate people to support you.  I just don’t think that force feeding people to spread a pre-determined message fosters the type of openness that many people are striving for in politics.

I also think that if you are taking part in a program like this, you should disclose it. “I’m with the John McCain action team” or whatever they call themselves. We all know that the government already has the market cornered on being shadowy and surreptitious, we don’t need our fellow citizens mirroring that particular aspect of politics.

Since I know someone will write to let me know that all politicians do things like this: In the interest of disclosure,  Obama’s campaign offers a reward for fundraisers, (win lunch with the Senator, etc), but paying them to go leave “suggested” comments. (Blantanly false comments in the case of the “partisanship” suggestion) is just…yucky.

Some of the “featured” blogs they want you to go target? Daily Kos, Red State, and Jeff Emmanuel. It’s probably safe to say that Jordan Says is safe from being on their list. I’d love to interview someone from McCain’s campaign about this “program”, though.

By the way, the Chinese government has a simliar program. They pay citizens for favorable comments about government policies posted on blogs or in chat rooms. I’m so glad to know that we’re now open for suggestions from the totalitarian regime. Got anything else for us, China? We might just be open to it. Please leave your thoughts in the suggestion box.

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