So most of the time, I write for this website sitting at a large desk that has my laptop and my boyfriend’s desktop on it. In order for me not to drive him nuts with whatever music or video I’m listening to while I work on things, I wear headphones. He wears them, too, either so I can’t annoy him to death, OR so that I don’t have to hear the racket he’s making with a computer game.

He normally wears a cute little earbud deal, and I have like, these monster cans on my head. Seriously I look like a 2008-era Princess Leia with these things on my head. They’re ridiculously large, but they do the job. They block out the sounds of his computer game (Tribes, and I hate it with a passion): “Hurry up with that station! Target acquired! Return our flag to our base!”, etc and they stop him from having to listen to whatever music I have on at the moment that he can’t stand. Notably stuff like Bright Eyes, or maybe Aphex Twin, or even some crazy gypsy brass band. All of which are completely unbearable to him.

So it’s a pretty good deal.

Until you get a fucking cyst-like object near your ear that is either some sort of cancer, or caused by the wretched headphones of death. I’m really hoping for the latter…

I have this honker right near the top of my ear. So far, my quest to extract some sort of material from it has been less than satisfying, and has actually caused said object to swell to roughly the size of a Tic Tac. I’m pretty sure it’s not as tasty, though.

In order to combat this intruder, I have decided that warm compresses would help. Except I don’t really want to get the entire side of my head wet by holding a hot wash cloth on my ear. (I have naturally curly hair, and keeping it straight is a pain enough as it is, I don’t need any additional moisture to impede my work).

They say necessity is the mother of invention. So, my friends, I have invented an ear heater thing.

It’s not dissimilar to a tampon in the way it looks (no, it doesn’t go IN the ear). In fact, it’s just a wad of Kleenex with hot water on it, rung out, and then shaped to sit on my ear just so. I do believe the Tic Tac is shrinking.

Anyone ever had one of these suckers? If so, how the hell do you make it go back from whence it came? It’s driving me up a damn wall.

(Yes, I’m sorry, I know that was gross and you probably see me in a different way now, but I can live with that)

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Actress Christina Applegate is reportedly being treated for breast cancer. Her publicist, Ame Van Iden, issued this statemtent late yesterday: “Christina Applegate was diagnosed with an early form of breast cancer. Benefiting from early detection through a doctor ordered MRI, the cancer is not life threatening. Christina is following the recommended treatment of her doctors and will have a full recovery.”

The 36-year-old actress, still best known for her portrayal of the ditzy Kelly Bundy on “Married With Children”, has more recently been the start of an ABC comedy called “Samantha Who?”.

Applegate is schedule to appear on a special called “Stand up Cancer” that’s airing on the three major TV networks on September 5, to raise funds for cancer research.

How sad. Here’s hoping Christina’s treatments are successful and she gets well soon.

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Is Obama truly “too fit” to be president? The Wall Street Journal has a great article on this today.

According to Senator Obama’s doctor, he doesn’t have any “excess body fat”, though he declines to give the Senator’s weight. Experts estimate that at his height of 6 feet, one-and-a-half inches, he weighs between 170-180 lbs, which would make him about 10-20 lbs lighter than the average American man at his height.

John McCain, who is said to have a taste for Butterfinger candy bars, jelly beans, and donuts, weighs in at about 165 lbs. On his 5′7″ frame (hey, we’re the same height!), nutritionists say he’s only slightly above the average weight for a main his age.  Read More…

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Reece Fleming, a dying eight-year-old boy “married” his “special friend” Elleanor Pursglove after proposing to her at a laser tag party.

Reece was diagnosed with leukemia in July 2004, and fought the disease for four years. In May, doctors told his family that the little boy had only weeks to live.

Reece’s mom, upon finding out that she was going to lose her little boy said “when we found out that we only had a few weeks with him we tried to do absolutely everything with him that we could”.

Including arranging a “wedding” for Reece and his sweetheart. Reece and Ellie had been what his mother calls “special friends” for years, until they had a “break up”. In recent months, though, Ellie visited Reece in the hospital and when his parents threw their ailing little boy a party, Reece popped the question to Elleanor.

The children’s parents arranged a ceremony and party. On July 4th, the duo were “married”. They went out to dinner in the mayor’s limousine, there were rings, a “marriage certificate”, and an officiant on-hand.

Reece was so happy to have been allowed this wish that he said “I can go now”.

Reece passed away the very next day.

At his funeral, the mourners followed his horse-drawn hearse on foot.

I don’t know about you, but I’m a pretty cynical, less than mushy person, and this made tears well up in my eyes. The capacity of children to love and show exceeding bravery in the face of difficult situations is a lesson we could all stand to heed.

Photo Credit: Raymonds Press Agency

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If you’ve already eaten, you may want to think about visiting this link later, as it is likely to send your stomach churning.

If you have no inclination of reading that entire story, allow me to break it down for you. Pork is nasty. Really nasty. Hog farms are disgusting, filthy, disease-ridden cesspools. Yeah, that about covers it.

If pork isn’t the most disgusting food known to man, I don’t know what it is (no, I’m not Jewish).

Oh well, if you’re bummed that the “other” white meat is seemingly able to damage your health, why not try the “other, OTHER white meat”? Baby! (How awesome was Fat Bastard?)

Did she just suggest eating babies?

Yes, I did.

But only in jest, you sicko.

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This makes me very, very happy. Why? Because I love caffeine to a degree which is probably not normal.

The perfect way to start a morning? 4 shots of espresso on ice. Oh yeah.

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